Change is rarely meant to be done alone. As you explore this question, think broadly about support—people, routines, boundaries, professional help, or moments of rest. There is no weakness in needing support; it is a reflection of being human. Naming what would help you feel steadier and more resourced is an act of care and foresight, not failure.
A man beginning therapy once said, “I thought I had to figure this out on my own before asking for help.” Over time, he learned that support was not the reward for doing it right—it was the path forward. With regular check-ins, clearer boundaries, and permission to go slowly, his goals became less overwhelming and more sustainable. Change often becomes possible not because we try harder, but because we feel less alone. Naming support is an act of wisdom, not weakness.

What kind of support would help your fresh start feel possible?

Let this prompt be about gentleness, not force. You might reflect on patterns, expectations, or self-talk that no longer serve you, without needing to let them go all at once. Consider what it would feel like to loosen your grip just a little. Writing from a place of self-compassion helps your nervous system understand that change can happen without threat or urgency.
One woman described holding herself to an unspoken rule that she had to be “the strong one” for everyone else. When a meaningful birthday arrived, she didn’t vow to stop being strong altogether. Instead, she practiced releasing the expectation that she never needed support. That release showed up in small ways—saying “I’m tired,” asking for help, letting others see her pause. Letting go doesn’t have to be abrupt or total. Sometimes it’s a gradual softening that creates more room to breathe.
What feels safe and sustainable for you to release right now?

As you reflect on this question, try to listen for what feels alive or quietly asking for attention, rather than what you think you should change. There is no need to fix everything at once. Write with curiosity, noticing areas where you feel a natural openness to something new—emotionally, relationally, or practically. Even naming a small shift is meaningful, and awareness itself is a powerful first step.

A client once shared that every January she felt pressure to completely reinvent her life, and every year she burned out by February. One year, instead of setting big goals, she noticed a quieter longing: she missed feeling unhurried in the mornings. Her “renewal” became a simple ritual—drinking her coffee without her phone for five minutes each day. That small shift didn’t change everything, but it changed something important. Over time, it restored a sense of agency and calm. Renewal often begins not with dramatic change, but with listening closely to what is softly asking for care.

What in your life is ready for renewal right now?

Written by Austen Grafa

​As summer starts to wind down I have noticed a common theme arising with many of my clients. Maybe there is a primal drive encouraging everyone to prepare for winter or maybe there is some grief arising as the warm weather starts to fade away. Either way, a theme of contradicting desires has shown up, specifically between Responsibility and Fun.

We all have parts of ourselves that contradict each other; and two of the most common parts are the “Responsible Part” and the “Fun Part”.

The Responsible part knows that it takes commitment and sacrifice to achieve your goals. They push you to work hard and hold you accountable. When they push too hard this may sound like a harsh inner critic.

The Fun part knows that life is meant to be enjoyed. They pull you to live in the moment and to seek out pleasure and joy. When they have too much control this could pull you into unhealthy or unhelpful habits that could jeopardize the life and relationships you care about.

When both parts are active, the push and pull can be quite confusing or even paralyzing. It can be tempting to think that one of these parts has to win and convince the other part to “get in line” - and depending on your adaptive strategies, you may have a part that often “wins” this internal battle.

But what if this wasn’t a battle to be won?

Each of these parts is doing what it thinks is best for you. Each of these parts deeply care about you and your well being; neither is all right or all wrong. The Responsible part wants you to achieve your goals and the Fun part doesn’t want you to miss out on life in this moment.

What if you were in a relationship with both of these parts? What would an ongoing
conversation between these parts sound like? Is there a way for each part to feel validated? Can you sit and feel the inevitable tension of letting both parts be heard?

Try taking a few deep breaths and notice if both of these parts are alive in you. Without needing to fix or resolve the tension, try breathing into the internal conflict and allow for both parts to be present.

Originally written by Christian Swan on March 23, 2017

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of meeting at Whole Foods with my dear friend Debbie Johnson. I learned about her new book, A Pocketful of Seeds, and we exchanged ideas about ways that we wanted to create positive change in our communities. 

Because I was already at Whole Foods, I decided to buy some groceries following our meeting. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "is there anything new happening in your life?" Intrigued by his question, I explained that I had just had an encouraging meeting and that I was looking forward to growing my private counseling practice. Curious about his life, I returned the question to him. "Nothing new here," he said, "every day just starts to feel like Groundhog Day." He went on to explain to me that he had met another individual who had also described her life as "Groundhog Day" that morning. 

Nearly two weeks have passed since this exchange occurred, and I have struggled to stop thinking about it. I have felt saddened by this individual's description of his life as the "same thing every day," and yet remember times in my life when I felt I would never break out of my dissatisfying routines and habits. 

Before I continue, I want to add that I do not think having a life structured around routine is necessarily bad. I eat two eggs and an apple every morning for breakfast. It's simple and reliable and makes me happy. What would be very unsettling is if I felt trapped by this routine. We've all been there, right? I'm talking about that feeling that you have no control over the trajectory of your life...the feeling that makes even your best efforts seem without purpose...the feeling that no matter what you do, you will be in the same unhealthy relationship or job or stuck with the same unhealthy habit forever. 

We've seen the movie (or maybe the most recent episode of Mindy Project?--anyone?) where the individual relives the same day every day until some conflict is resolved. The lead character doesn't have any control over when his/her life will resume and begins to lose hope until finally--tomorrow comes. While these scenes are certainly entertaining, they possess a quality that our real life does not--powerlessness. These characters have no power over when "tomorrow" will come. 

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MOMENT, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR FUTURE. 

What sort of change are you seeking in your life? Is it something small like waking up fifteen minutes earlier every morning? Or maybe it's something larger like a job or relationship that takes joy out of life. Sometimes change can feel so overwhelming that we don't know where to start. 

When considering change in your life, start at the finish line. When you picture a "changed" life for yourself, what do you envision? Take some time to write it down and imagine all of the details of this changed life. Next, begin to think about the first small step that would help you get to this goal. And if that step seems too great, think about the smaller step that would help you get there! If creating change still seems too overwhelming, consider speaking with a professional counselor or coach. Working with an objective individual can help you to figure out what is keeping you back from creating effective change in your life. But regardless of how you get there, remember that change IS possible, and that YOU already have what it takes to make it happen.