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Understanding the DOES of Highly Sensitive People: The Four Pillars of Sensitivity

5/12/2025

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Have you ever been told you're "too sensitive"? Do you notice subtleties that others miss? Are you easily overwhelmed by bright lights, strong smells, or chaotic environments? If so, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)—and there's nothing wrong with you.

Being an HSP is not a disorder. It’s a biological trait, found in 15–20% of the population, that involves processing the world more deeply. It’s a form of neurodiversity, not a flaw. And when understood and supported, it can be a profound strength.

To better understand high sensitivity, Dr. Elaine Aron, the leading researcher in this field, developed the DOES acronym, which outlines the four core characteristics of the trait. Each letter represents a crucial aspect of the HSP experience.

D – Depth of Processing
Highly sensitive people process information deeply. This doesn't mean they are overthinking—it means their brains are wired to reflect more thoroughly on experiences, decisions, and emotions. HSPs tend to ask big questions, make thoughtful choices, and have a rich inner life.
🔹 What this looks like:

  • Pausing before making decisions
  • ​Reflecting deeply on conversations or events
  • Being philosophical or introspective
  • Learning from experiences, even painful ones
🌿 Hopeful takeaway:
Your depth is not a burden—it’s a superpower. While others may rush ahead, you bring wisdom, reflection, and intentionality.

O – Overstimulation
Because HSPs notice so much—details, emotions, subtleties—it’s easy for their nervous systems to become overwhelmed, especially in busy or loud environments. This isn’t about weakness; it’s about sensitivity to sensory and emotional input.
🔹 What this looks like:
  • Feeling drained after social events or crowded places
  • Needing downtime after a busy day
  • Getting frazzled by multitasking or noise
  • ​Feeling exhausted by too much emotional input
🌿 Hopeful takeaway:
Needing rest is not a flaw—it’s intelligent self-care. Learning to recognize your limits allows you to recharge and show up fully.

E – Emotional Responsiveness & Empathy
HSPs feel things deeply—not just their own emotions, but others’ too. Their empathy runs high, and they often sense the emotional tone of a room before anyone says a word. This responsiveness makes them loyal friends, compassionate helpers, and intuitive leaders.
🔹 What this looks like:
  • Crying easily (from sadness, beauty, or joy)
  • Being moved by music, art, or nature
  • Picking up on others' moods—even unspoken
  • ​Caring deeply about people, animals, and justice
🌿 Hopeful takeaway:
Your emotional depth is not “too much.” It’s a gift this world desperately needs. Empathy connects us, heals us, and reminds us we belong to each other.

S – Sensing Subtleties
HSPs notice things that others might miss. A slight shift in tone, a small change in lighting, or a barely perceptible feeling in the atmosphere—all of it registers. This subtle perception allows HSPs to pick up on beauty, meaning, and risk before others do.
🔹 What this looks like:
  • Noticing when someone says “I’m fine” but clearly isn’t
  • Picking up on micro-expressions, body language, or energy shifts
  • Being affected by caffeine, medication, or pain more than others
  • ​Having a strong intuition or gut feeling
🌿 Hopeful takeaway:
You are a finely tuned instrument in a noisy world. Your sensitivity to nuance helps you respond with care, creativity, and insight.

Bringing It All Together
DOES is more than an acronym—it’s a mirror reflecting the intricate beauty of what it means to be highly sensitive. It helps validate the lived experience of HSPs and reminds us that this trait is real, important, and worthy of respect.

If you recognize yourself in these four pillars, you are not alone—and you are not “too sensitive.” You are deeply attuned, richly emotional, and profoundly thoughtful. The world needs what you offer. And when you care for yourself with the same tenderness you give others, you begin to thrive.

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Ripple Effects of Grief: Relationships

8/19/2024

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Grief, in its profound and often overwhelming nature, can have a significant impact on personal relationships. When a person is grieving, they may withdraw from those around them, feeling a need for solitude or fearing that others won't understand their pain. This withdrawal can create distance in relationships, sometimes leaving loved ones feeling confused or hurt. It's important to recognize that this is a natural response to loss and not a reflection of the value of the relationship. Grief can also manifest as heightened sensitivity, where minor misunderstandings can escalate, straining connections even further.
Understanding these dynamics is key to maintaining healthy relationships during grief. Open communication is essential, even when it feels difficult. Expressing needs and boundaries clearly can help loved ones know how to support the grieving person, while also ensuring that they don't feel shut out. On the other hand, those supporting a grieving person should practice patience and empathy, recognizing that grief can cloud judgment and alter behaviors in ways that do not feel typical. Offering presence and understanding, rather than solutions or advice, can be incredibly comforting.
Despite the challenges, grief can also deepen relationships. As individuals navigate their pain, they may find that the support and compassion they receive from loved ones forge stronger, more meaningful connections. Grief has the potential to bring people closer together, creating a shared experience of love and loss. With time, patience, and open-hearted communication, relationships can not only survive grief but emerge stronger, providing a source of comfort and resilience as healing gradually unfolds.
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  • Home
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    • Meet the Team >
      • Allison Harvey
      • Kelsey McCamon
      • Tess Weigand
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      • Austen Grafa
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      • Brooke Van Natta
      • Alyssa Lopez
      • Rachel Seiger
      • Hailey Siebold
      • Katelyn Miranda
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      • Jessamyn Shanks
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