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While therapy can be a powerful space for healing, it is not the only place where healing happens. In fact, much of our growth unfolds in the context of everyday relationships—friendships, partnerships, families, and communities.
A key theme in Prentis Hemphill’s work is that healing is not just an individual process—it is also collective and relational. Many of the challenges people bring into therapy are shaped not only by personal experiences, but by broader systems and environments. Because of this, healing often requires more than insight. It requires connection—spaces where people feel seen, supported, and able to show up as they are. In our practice, we think of therapy as one part of a larger ecosystem of care. Alongside individual work, we often encourage clients to explore where else they experience belonging, mutuality, and support. This might look like:
Healing, in this sense, is not just about feeling better internally. It is about being in relationship differently—with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us.
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For many of us, conflict feels uncomfortable at best and unsafe at worst. We may have learned to avoid it, minimize it, or move through it quickly just to restore a sense of calm. And yet, conflict is a natural and inevitable part of being in relationship.
Through the lens of Prentis Hemphill’s work, we can begin to see conflict not simply as a problem to solve, but as a practice—one that can deepen understanding, clarify needs, and strengthen connection when approached with care. This does not mean all conflict is healthy or that we should tolerate harm. Safety, consent, and boundaries remain essential. But when there is enough stability in a relationship, conflict can become a space where something meaningful is revealed. Engaging conflict differently often begins with building capacity in the body: the ability to stay present when emotions rise, to notice our impulses (to shut down, defend, or escalate), and to pause before reacting. From there, we can begin to ask different questions:
This is not easy work. It unfolds gradually. But over time, conflict can shift from something we fear to something we can navigate with greater confidence and care. Boundaries are often misunderstood. They can be seen as rigid, distancing, or even unkind. But in practice, boundaries are one of the most important ways we care for ourselves and sustain meaningful relationships.
As Prentis Hemphill teaches, boundaries are not walls that push others away—they are the conditions that make connection possible. When we don’t have access to our limits, we may find ourselves saying yes when we mean no, overextending our energy, or feeling resentment build over time. These patterns can quietly erode our relationships and our sense of self. Boundaries, in contrast, allow us to stay in connection without abandoning ourselves. They help us remain present, honest, and engaged. Importantly, boundaries are not just cognitive decisions—they are also somatic experiences. We might notice tension, fatigue, irritability, or a sense of shutdown when a boundary is needed. Learning to recognize these cues can help us respond earlier and with more clarity. In therapy, developing boundaries is often less about learning a script and more about cultivating awareness:
In many of our cultural narratives, healing is framed as self-improvement—something we achieve by fixing what is broken within us. But what if healing is not about becoming better, stronger, or more “put together”? What if it is about coming back into relationship with ourselves?
Drawing on the work of Prentis Hemphill in What It Takes to Heal, we can begin to understand healing as a process of reconnection: to our bodies, to our emotions, to our values, and to the relationships that shape our lives. From this perspective, many of the patterns we struggle with—anxiety, avoidance, reactivity, numbness—are not signs that something is wrong with us. They are often adaptive responses, shaped by past experiences where we needed to protect ourselves, stay safe, or belong. When we shift from judgment to curiosity, we create the conditions for something new to emerge. Healing, then, is not about forcing change. It is about learning to listen. It asks us to slow down enough to notice what is happening inside us and to respond with care rather than criticism. As therapists at Benediction Counseling, we often support clients in gently rebuilding this relationship with themselves. Over time, this can lead to a deeper sense of trust—not because everything feels easy, but because there is a growing capacity to stay present with what is. Written by Sam Wilde
What is Somatic Awareness? The term somatic refers to the body (Merriam-Webster, 2025). Somatic awareness is the ability to notice and track physical sensations in the body. This might be easier said than done, depending on one’s relationship to their body and whether or not they have experienced trauma. Dissociation is a common coping strategy and survival tool used by those who have experienced trauma. Trauma occurs when something is too much, too fast for us to handle. Dissociation is one way the brain protects us from experiencing the weight of a traumatic event as it occurs or thereafter. The problem is that unprocessed emotions live in our bodies and can create muscle tension and chronic pain. Somatic therapy can provide a safe container for clients to sequence unprocessed emotions through their body and release them. Here is a simple assessment of somatic awareness that you can try at home. Choose a song to listen to. Find a comfortable position, take a few cycles of deep breaths, and begin to bring your awareness to your body. What sensations do you feel in your body as you listen? What emotions do you notice? What thoughts do you notice? Try not to attach to any thoughts that arise, simply let them come and go, like passing clouds. Do you notice any movement impulses in your body? If so, maybe see what it’s like to follow them. When the song ends, take a few moments to journal what you noticed. Use the form below for inspiration. If you don’t notice any physical sensations during the song, that is good information too! Do you feel numb? Can you feel your heartbeat or find your pulse? Can you feel your feet on the ground or your back against a chair? No sensation is too small to notice. Practicing somatic awareness is one way to reclaim your sovereign right to inhabit your body fully. This is a life-long journey that is best practiced both solo and in community, with trusted guides and compassion for self and others. Somatic Awareness Assessment Instructions: Choose a song to listen to. As the song plays, notice what emotions, physical sensations, thoughts, and movement impulses arise for you. Circle them below or fill in the blanks. Emotions Happy Sad Fear Disgust Anger Surprise Curious Depressed Anxious Aversion Aggressive Excited Proud Lonely Embarrassed Disappointed Annoyed Confused __________ __________ __________ Physical Sensations Smile Tears Tense Face scrunch Clenched jaw Sweaty palms Warmth Emptiness Racing heart Nauseous Feeling hot Brow-furrow Calm Numb Frozen Lump in throat Clenched fists Quick breathing __________ __________ __________ Movement Impulses Wiggle Curl into a ball Run Cover face with hands Stomp Raised eyebrows Spin Hide Shaking legs Push away Punch Jump Open arms Lay on floor Wringing hands Back up Headbang Kick __________ __________ __________ What thoughts arose for you during this exercise? _____________________________________________ |
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