When faced with the intense emotions of grief, the nervous system often triggers a fight response. This response is part of our survival mechanism, rooted deeply in our biology, designed to protect us from perceived threats. In the context of grief, the fight response can manifest as irritability, anger, or an overwhelming urge to confront or challenge the pain. While this reaction may seem out of place when dealing with loss, it’s the nervous system’s way of trying to regain control in a situation that feels profoundly disempowering.

Understanding this response is a crucial step in healing. The nervous system, in its attempt to defend us, sometimes misinterprets emotional pain as a physical threat, leading to this heightened state of alertness. Recognizing these reactions allows us to address them with compassion rather than self-criticism. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and grounding exercises can help calm the nervous system, shifting it out of the fight response and into a more balanced state. It's important to allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment, knowing that they are a natural part of the grieving process.

Healing the nervous system after experiencing grief is a gradual process, but it is entirely possible. Engaging in regular self-care practices, seeking support from loved ones, and perhaps working with a therapist can all contribute to restoring a sense of safety and calm in the body. Over time, as the nervous system begins to heal, the intense fight responses will lessen, making space for a gentler and more compassionate experience of grief. This journey of healing is not linear, but with patience and support, it leads to a place of greater resilience and peace.

The process of mourning begins with the essential and often painful step of acknowledging the reality of the death. This step requires mourners to gently confront the reality of their loss, which can take weeks, months, or even years. During this time, it is not uncommon for mourners to remind themselves repeatedly that their loved one has died. Accepting the permanence of this loss is crucial for healing, though it may be one of the most challenging aspects of the mourning process. Confronting the truth, despite the pain it brings, lays the foundation for moving forward.

Feeling the pain of the loss is another crucial aspect of the grieving process. Bereavement literally means to be torn apart, and embracing the pain that comes with loss is essential to healing. One of the greatest challenges for those accompanying mourners in their grief is to be present to the pain without trying to fix it. Allowing oneself to fully experience the depth of this pain, rather than avoiding or suppressing it, is a critical step towards eventual healing.

Remembering the person who has died is a vital part of the mourning journey. This involves exploring the relationship that existed with the deceased and working to remember them in their entirety, including both positive and negative aspects. By converting the relationship from one of presence to one of memory, mourners can honor the person who has died and keep their memory alive in a meaningful way. This process helps to integrate the loss into the mourner’s life and find a new way to maintain a connection with their loved one.

As the mourner adapts to life without their loved one, developing a new self-identity becomes necessary. The loss of a relationship often means adjusting to new roles and responsibilities in life. This readjustment allows the mourner to create a new sense of wholeness, filling in the gaps left by the deceased. This can be one of the most draining tasks of mourning, as it requires significant emotional and psychological effort to redefine oneself and one’s place in the world.

Searching for meaning in the aftermath of loss is a deeply personal and often spiritual journey. This process often involves an exploration of faith and values, as mourners reevaluate their meaning in life and reasons for continuing to live. It is essential for those supporting mourners to resist the temptation to provide answers to these profound questions. Allowing the mourner to find their own meaning and understanding is a vital part of the healing process, fostering a sense of personal growth and resilience.

Finally, receiving ongoing support from others is crucial for mourners as they navigate their grief. The need for support can last for months or even years, as grief does not follow a set timeline. Even when mourners appear to have adjusted to their loss externally, they may still be processing a great deal internally. After the acute pain of loss subsides, grief often manifests in "bursts," making it essential for mourners to have a network of support that they can rely on over the long term. This continued support helps them to cope with their grief and move towards healing. Our team of sensitive and skilled therapists can help navigate all of these needs!
  
Wolfelt, A.D. (2016) Counseling Skills for Companioning the Mourner. Ft. Collins, CO: Companion Press. 

Healing mental health disorders is a multifaceted journey that requires addressing the diverse and interconnected factors contributing to an individual’s well-being. The bio-psycho-social-spiritual model provides a comprehensive framework for understanding and treating mental health issues, emphasizing the importance of integrating biological, psychological, social, and spiritual dimensions. This holistic approach ensures that treatment is personalized and addresses the unique needs of each individual, fostering a more effective and enduring recovery process.
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Biological aspects of healing involve medical interventions such as medication and lifestyle changes that can significantly impact mental health. For instance, medications like antidepressants or antipsychotics can help regulate neurochemical imbalances, providing stability for individuals to engage more fully in their healing journey. Additionally, lifestyle modifications such as movement, mindfulness, and adequate sleep are crucial in supporting overall brain health and reducing symptoms of mental health disorders. These biological interventions are often most effective when combined with other therapeutic approaches.

Psychological, social, and spiritual healing are equally vital in the recovery process. Psychological therapies, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), help individuals develop healthier relationship patterns and emotional expression. Trauma, somatic and polyvagal therapies help to regulate the nervous system. Increasing social support, building strong relationships with family and friends and involvement in community activities, provides a sense of belonging and reduces feelings of isolation. Supporting spirituality, whether through religious practices, meditation, or a personal sense of purpose, can offer profound comfort and resilience. By nurturing all these dimensions, individuals can build a robust foundation for healing, creating a life filled with hope, connection, and meaning. Meeting with a skilled and sensitive mental health therapist can support each and/or all of these dimensions of a person’s mental health, diminishing, and sometimes eliminating, the effects of mental health disorders.

Improving one's spiritual life is a deeply personal and transformative journey that can lead to profound inner peace and fulfillment. Spirituality can provide a sense of purpose, connectedness, and a framework for understanding life's challenges. It goes beyond religious practices, encompassing a broad spectrum of beliefs and experiences that resonate with an individual's inner self. Whether through meditation, prayer, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative activities, nurturing your spiritual life can significantly enhance your overall well-being.

One of the key benefits of a robust spiritual life is its positive impact on mental health. Spiritual practices often promote mindfulness, gratitude, and a sense of connection to something greater than oneself. These elements can reduce stress, alleviate anxiety, and improve emotional regulation. Engaging in spiritual practices can create moments of stillness and reflection, allowing you to step back from the hustle and bustle of daily life and gain a clearer perspective on your thoughts and feelings. This introspection can lead to greater self-awareness and emotional resilience.

Healing the nervous system is an essential aspect of improving one's spiritual life. Chronic stress and trauma can cause dysregulation in the nervous system, leading to symptoms like anxiety, insomnia, and physical tension. Spiritual practices such as meditation, deep breathing, and prayer can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and healing. These practices help to calm the mind and body, reduce the production of stress hormones, and enhance the body's natural ability to recover from stress. By integrating nervous system healing into your spiritual practices, you can create a harmonious balance between mind, body, and spirit.

Another vital component of spiritual growth is fostering a sense of community and connectedness. Engaging with like-minded individuals who share your spiritual interests can provide support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. This can be achieved through participating in group meditations, spiritual retreats, or discussion groups. Sharing your experiences and learning from others can deepen your understanding and commitment to your spiritual path. These connections not only enrich your spiritual life but also offer a network of support that can be invaluable during challenging times.

Ultimately, improving your spiritual life is about finding practices and beliefs that resonate with you and integrating them into your daily routine. It requires patience, openness, and a willingness to explore and grow. Whether you are just beginning your spiritual journey or seeking to deepen your existing practices, the path to spiritual fulfillment is a continuous process of self-discovery and healing. By embracing this journey with compassion and hope, you can cultivate a spiritual life that brings you peace, joy, and a profound sense of purpose.

The mental health needs of LGBTQ+ individuals are unique and complex, often shaped by the distinct challenges they face in society. Discrimination, stigma, and the pressure to conform to heteronormative and cisnormative expectations can create an environment where LGBTQ+ people are more susceptible to mental health issues. Studies show that LGBTQ+ individuals are at a higher risk for depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation compared to their heterosexual and cisgender counterparts. These elevated risks underscore the importance of providing tailored and sensitive mental health support that acknowledges and addresses these specific challenges.

One critical aspect of supporting LGBTQ+ mental health is understanding the impact of minority stress. Minority stress refers to the chronic stress experienced by individuals from stigmatized minority groups. For LGBTQ+ individuals, this stress can stem from various sources, including internalized homophobia or transphobia, experiences of discrimination, and social rejection. Such stressors can profoundly affect mental health, leading to feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and chronic anxiety. Mental health professionals need to be aware of these factors and incorporate them into their therapeutic approaches, creating a safe and affirming space for LGBTQ+ clients.

Healing the nervous system is a vital component of mental health care for LGBTQ+ individuals. Chronic stress and trauma can dysregulate the nervous system, leading to symptoms such as hypervigilance, anxiety, and emotional numbness. Techniques that promote nervous system healing, such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and somatic therapies, can be particularly beneficial. These practices help individuals reconnect with their bodies, release stored tension, and cultivate a sense of safety and calm. By integrating nervous system healing into mental health care, therapists can help LGBTQ+ clients build resilience and recover from the impacts of trauma.

Moreover, social support plays a crucial role in the mental well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals. Building and maintaining connections with affirming and supportive communities can mitigate the negative effects of minority stress. LGBTQ+ support groups, community organizations, and online forums can provide safe spaces for individuals to share their experiences, receive validation, and find solidarity. These connections not only reduce feelings of isolation but also empower individuals to embrace their identities with pride and confidence. Encouraging LGBTQ+ individuals to seek out and engage with supportive communities can significantly enhance their mental health and overall well-being.

Ultimately, a compassionate and holistic approach to mental health care is essential for LGBTQ+ individuals. By addressing the unique challenges they face, promoting nervous system healing, and fostering supportive social connections, we can create an environment where LGBTQ+ individuals can thrive. Mental health professionals, allies, and communities all play a crucial role in this process. Through understanding, empathy, and proactive support, we can help ensure that every LGBTQ+ person has the opportunity to live a fulfilling and mentally healthy life.

Originally written by Christian Swan on April 9, 2017 

"Would it be preposterous to you that, before we diagnose seasonal affective disorder, we have to rule out first starvation of the spirit, and that before we prescribe serotonin reuptake inhibitors or megalight, we first prescribe courses on Emerson and Thoreau and lessons in cross country skiing?" -Paul Fleischmann, M.D., delivered to the American Psychiatric Association, May 1993

During my undergraduate years in South Carolina, I participated in a sorority. When sorority "rush" occurred every January, we were asked to stay away from the Three Bs: No Bush (the president at the time), Bedroom, or Bible. For many, talk of politics, sex, or religion is viewed to be inappropriate or impolite. By mentioning them, you run the risk of making someone feel uncomfortable or marginalized. There are times in my life when I have understood people's desire to steer clear of these subjects. However, I have noticed a change in my personal life where I now notice an increased comfort around conversations related to politics or sexual themes. Talking confidently about politics can now be seen as a sign of increased education, while speaking of sexual matters demonstrates a confidence in one's self. And yet, even among circles where individuals share a common religion/spirituality, I sometimes experience tension when the topic comes up. Talk of spirituality can easily be perceived as a weakness, or something so intimate that it should not be shared with others.

As I've entered the therapy world, I have been surprised to learn that spirituality is still perceived as an uncomfortable subject. In my practice, I am passionate about including my clients' spiritual beliefs as they best see fit during our time together. After all, if we cannot experiment with topics that make us uncomfortable in the counseling setting, how are we ever going to be able to navigate them in our daily lives?

Before or during my first session with every client, I ask a variety of questions so that I can get a better understanding of who he/she is. Toward the end of my questions, I always ask about spirituality. Personal spiritual beliefs, practices, and past experiences immensely shape one's view the world. "But what if I believe in no deity and have no spiritual practice in my life?" You may wonder. Knowing this about my clients before we begin to do healing work is very helpful to me as a therapist, as it still makes a statement about how you view the world. 

There are times in which one's spirituality can be an asset in counseling. For example, consider an individual who professes to have few friends and is new to Denver. As a therapist, one might assume that this person has a limited support system and operate accordingly. But what if this same individual feels very connected to God and finds comfort in daily prayer and Scripture study? Knowing this about a client is very helpful in assessing the client's support system and also in using the client's perceived closeness with God as an asset in the therapeutic work. 

On the other hand, consider an individual who has recently experienced a trauma. While she felt connected spiritually before the event occurred, she now confidently proclaims that she doesn't believe in God and feels frustrated that she spent so much time investing in her spirituality in the past. It is important for me to know this information as a therapist in order to factor this individual's loss of a previous support system into her healing. 

After I ask about a client's spiritual background, I may ask follow-up questions. Specifically, are there ways that we can integrate your spirituality into our sessions to enhance your healing? It is important to me that we integrate your spiritual background to your comfort level in our time together. 

Does spirituality matter in the healing process? Yes. However, you get to be the one to decide the extent of its integration. 

Spirituality is a deeply personal and multifaceted aspect of human experience that encompasses a sense of connection to something greater than oneself. At its core, spirituality involves seeking meaning and purpose in life, often through practices that nurture the soul and foster a sense of inner peace. Unlike religion, which is typically organized around specific beliefs, rituals, and communal worship, spirituality is more individualized and can be practiced in various ways that resonate personally with an individual. Whether through meditation, prayer, nature walks, or acts of kindness, spirituality is about finding a path that aligns with one's innermost values and beliefs.

The journey of exploring spirituality often begins with introspection and self-awareness. It's about asking profound questions: "What gives my life meaning?" "What are my deepest values?" "How can I connect more deeply with myself and others?" These questions are not always easy to answer, but they serve as a starting point for discovering a deeper sense of purpose. Spirituality encourages us to look beyond the material aspects of life and consider our connection to the broader universe. This exploration can lead to profound personal growth, increased resilience, and a more compassionate worldview.

Compassion is a cornerstone of spirituality. It involves recognizing the shared humanity in all of us and acting with kindness and empathy towards others. Spiritual practices often emphasize the importance of compassion, not only towards others but also towards oneself. This self-compassion is crucial, as it allows us to acknowledge our imperfections and challenges with a gentle and understanding heart. By fostering compassion, spirituality can help reduce feelings of isolation and increase a sense of belonging and interconnectedness.

In times of difficulty, spirituality can offer hope and solace. It provides a framework for understanding and coping with life's challenges, offering comfort through the belief in a higher power or a greater purpose. Spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, or mindfulness can be powerful tools for managing stress and anxiety, promoting mental well-being, and enhancing emotional resilience. They help us stay grounded in the present moment, cultivate gratitude, and maintain a positive outlook even during tough times.

Ultimately, spirituality is a journey unique to each individual. It evolves over time, reflecting our changing experiences, beliefs, and needs. Embracing spirituality means embracing the journey of self-discovery, growth, and connection. It's a path filled with hope, compassion, and the search for deeper meaning. By nurturing our spiritual well-being, we open ourselves up to a richer, more fulfilling life, grounded in a profound sense of purpose and interconnectedness with the world around us.

Originally written by Christian Swan on April 23, 2017

A couple of months ago, I had a wonderful meeting with a local therapist. We chatted about our shared passions for maternal mental health and how we could support each other's practices when suddenly she said to me, "So your name is Christian and you went to Seminary. Can you help me understand why I should refer to you?" I'm fully aware that I went to Seminary and the connotations that come with my degree. However, I had never considered that even my given name could lead to confusion for those who consider counseling with me. For these reasons, I find it important to clarify what my training is, what my training isn't, and why I'm passionate about the work that I do. Below are answers to the questions I am most often asked.

So you went to a Seminary. Does that make you a pastor? Are you hopeful to be a nun one day?
Interestingly, this is the question I receive the most often. Yes, I am a graduate of Denver Seminary. I currently have no aspirations of being a pastor, nor do I have the credentials to do so. Also, my husband and daughter probably wouldn't appreciate me becoming a nun anytime soon! 

Ohhh so you're not a pastor. Then you must do pastoral counseling! Or maybe you do Biblical counseling? 
This is the second most frequent question I am asked. I do not practice pastoral counseling, nor am I a biblical therapist. 

So if you aren't any of those things, why did you decide to go to Seminary?
In 2012, I moved to Colorado from North Carolina to pursue a degree from Denver Seminary. After being a client to a fantastic therapist and Denver Seminary graduate while in college, I began to think it would be the best postgraduate choice for me. Denver Seminary is unique in that is one of the few seminaries with a CACREP accredited counseling program. CACREP stands for the Council of Accreditation for Counseling and Related Educational Programs, and ensures that counseling programs throughout the country meet national standards for education and professionalism. Participation in a CACREP accredited program in addition to adherence to state regulations ensures my competency for counseling licensure as well as national counselor certification. I chose Denver Seminary because, in addition to a seminary education, I wanted to make sure that I would be eligible for counseling licensure following graduation. 

What does this mean for me as a potential counseling client? How are you different from other therapists who participated in other programs?
This is a great question. My training is unique from other programs because it highly valued the integration of spirituality and psychology. I believe that in order to live fully whole lives, we must honor the ways in which our spirituality informs our mental health. Specifically, I received training that equipped me to integrate the Christian faith into the counseling setting. As a client, if you would like to have your Christian faith be a focus of our time together, I am happy to work from a biblically informed perspective. 

How are you different from a Biblical counselor?
Biblical counseling, sometimes called nouthetic counseling, bases the counseling process solely on the Bible and has a tendency to reject mainstream psychology. While I am happy to utilize Scripture in sessions with your permission, I also highly value the mental health profession and am likely to draw from various psychological principles and counseling techniques in sessions. 

Do you only work with Christians?
No, I work with individuals of all faith backgrounds. While I have some training specific to working with Christians, my CACREP education has prepared me to work competently with individuals of many different traditions in a way that is honoring to each individual experience. As a therapist, it is most important for me that clients feel comfortable expressing themselves in a way that makes them feel most comfortable. My hope is that my counseling space will always be a setting in which people feel freedom to be themselves, and that in that freedom, they ultimately find healing. 
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Do you have more questions about my training or about the ways in which I may or may not integrate spirituality in sessions? Please do not hesitate to bring your curiosity into the counseling setting. 

Originally written by Christian Swan on March 23, 2017

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of meeting at Whole Foods with my dear friend Debbie Johnson. I learned about her new book, A Pocketful of Seeds, and we exchanged ideas about ways that we wanted to create positive change in our communities. 

Because I was already at Whole Foods, I decided to buy some groceries following our meeting. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "is there anything new happening in your life?" Intrigued by his question, I explained that I had just had an encouraging meeting and that I was looking forward to growing my private counseling practice. Curious about his life, I returned the question to him. "Nothing new here," he said, "every day just starts to feel like Groundhog Day." He went on to explain to me that he had met another individual who had also described her life as "Groundhog Day" that morning. 

Nearly two weeks have passed since this exchange occurred, and I have struggled to stop thinking about it. I have felt saddened by this individual's description of his life as the "same thing every day," and yet remember times in my life when I felt I would never break out of my dissatisfying routines and habits. 

Before I continue, I want to add that I do not think having a life structured around routine is necessarily bad. I eat two eggs and an apple every morning for breakfast. It's simple and reliable and makes me happy. What would be very unsettling is if I felt trapped by this routine. We've all been there, right? I'm talking about that feeling that you have no control over the trajectory of your life...the feeling that makes even your best efforts seem without purpose...the feeling that no matter what you do, you will be in the same unhealthy relationship or job or stuck with the same unhealthy habit forever. 

We've seen the movie (or maybe the most recent episode of Mindy Project?--anyone?) where the individual relives the same day every day until some conflict is resolved. The lead character doesn't have any control over when his/her life will resume and begins to lose hope until finally--tomorrow comes. While these scenes are certainly entertaining, they possess a quality that our real life does not--powerlessness. These characters have no power over when "tomorrow" will come. 

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW, IN THIS MOMENT, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR FUTURE. 

What sort of change are you seeking in your life? Is it something small like waking up fifteen minutes earlier every morning? Or maybe it's something larger like a job or relationship that takes joy out of life. Sometimes change can feel so overwhelming that we don't know where to start. 

When considering change in your life, start at the finish line. When you picture a "changed" life for yourself, what do you envision? Take some time to write it down and imagine all of the details of this changed life. Next, begin to think about the first small step that would help you get to this goal. And if that step seems too great, think about the smaller step that would help you get there! If creating change still seems too overwhelming, consider speaking with a professional counselor or coach. Working with an objective individual can help you to figure out what is keeping you back from creating effective change in your life. But regardless of how you get there, remember that change IS possible, and that YOU already have what it takes to make it happen.